It’s hard to write about something that I am continuing to process 7 weeks later, which is one of the reasons it took me so long to write this. 7 weeks ago I got to take a trip to Pine Ridge, South Dakota with my cultural psychology class at Warren Wilson College. Pine Ridge is a Native American Reservation in the United States and it is one of the most statistically impoverished places within this country. Before we went on this trip we took half a semester (8 weeks) to learn all about cultural psychology, a discipline that takes apart our Western views on what we think psychology is universally. We learned about how people aren’t all the same, but they actually differ quite a bit cross culturally and what we expect from each other could be very different from what another culture expects from each other.

People keep asking me if my experience on Pine Ridge was life changing. And yes, it was, but it was also more “normal” than I thought it was going to be. One of the reasons I decided to go on the trip was because I had heard so much about it from friends who had gone previously. They had described it as shocking, spiritually draining, and extremely life changing. They arrived back at Warren Wilson needing space from friends and the culture surrounding them that was so different from the one they had just come from. Naturally, I expected to have similar experiences after going to a place so different from my own culture.

            Although parts of the trip were different from what I had experienced in my own culture, I didn’t feel extremely shocked by them. This could be because of the timing, the particular people we saw, or just who I am as an individual. I’m not saying I didn’t learn an incredible amount, because I did, I just wasn’t as culturally shocked as I first suspected I would be.

           

            Part of my realization about this happened after one of the first days we were there. One of our incredible leaders told us to ignore all of the education we had gone there with and instead be ourselves. It was fine if we ended up making mistakes, he said, we all make mistakes. This advice sent me down a path of conflicting ideas. How could we go into a place being culturally aware, but still be ourselves completely? How could we hold onto our cultural backgrounds (who we are) and be aware of other cultural backgrounds at the same time?

           

            It’s hard to explain the circular thoughts that continued and still continue in my head today about this phenomenon, but I found myself coming to a better conclusion when I ignored what I was thinking and simply was myself. I found that I was reminded of how I am uncomfortable at first in any situation and then I begin to warm up. As I remembered this I realized I was letting who I was shine through more and more as the days of our trip went by. And I was letting myself really learn from the people who were surrounding me because I wasn’t so focused on making a cultural mistake.

            As I let this happen I began to gain more awareness about how people try to connect and about the Lakota people in general. I could let my guard down and really experience what was going on around me while still feeling culturally sensitive. Of course, I didn’t know what was going on in any of the Lakota people’s heads as I interacted with them, but I found they would smile at me when I would smile at them, some of them seemed shyer than others and some of them were very direct. I don’t know if these terms are what they were necessarily feeling because some cultures might not really even have those things, but what I wasn’t expecting was to see such great similarities. I am aware that those similarities could be because I just put my own cultural lens over what I experienced.

            One of the cultural differences we learned about the Lakota people before we went there was that sustained eye contact was considered disrespectful. This was something I was pretty worried about failing at when I first arrived on Pine Ridge because it is something so ingrained within our culture as a sign of respect. At first, I tried really hard to look at the person I was talking to and then look away quickly. However, once I was being more myself, I got to really observe the people around me (like I said earlier). I noticed that people made longer eye contact than I first thought they would. Upon realizing this, I remembered how you can’t really know how people are by reading textbooks and listening to other people’s experiences, you have to experience people yourself to really begin to know who they are.

            I guess what I’m trying to say is that getting to know people in any culture is pretty similar; there are awkward parts and comfortable parts. However, the way in which you get to know the people you are meeting might be very different than what you usually do to get to know someone. They might have different values and ideas about how to interact than you would first expect. Also, it takes time to begin to understand people and you can never really understand people fully without being completely immersed within their own personal culture, which would mean getting inside of their heads. And we all know that is pretty impossible.